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I know I keep saying this, but seriously, what a difference a year makes.  Last Saturday was Kathryn's 2nd birthday, and in the time leading up to it I kept wondering if something was wrong with me.  The feelings were just SO different from the year before.  Most of the time I would have even forgotten her birthday was coming, except Kassie (who is super anxious to turn 5, and therefore knows the order of birthdays in our family very, very well..."Daddy, then Kimberlee, then Kathryn, then the new baby, then Keira, then Mommy, then Krista, and THEN Kassie!"...) has been reminding me since March that we would be celebrating Kathryn soon.  I just was not anxious about it.  I was thrilled Ed would be here this year, and that her birthday was on a Saturday so we could all celebrate together.  Other than that, I had no feelings about it one way or another.  Weird.

So here's how the actual day went: we got up at 5:00 to start a long drive to Memphis.  The girls were cheerful, and Kassie was the first to say a very happy birthday to Kathryn.  3 hours later we arrived here:

This picture was taken last year, obviously not a week ago...I certainly don't look like that right now.

 

Can you think of a better place to spend a day thinking of our angel daughter?  Neither could we.  Lucky us, it was our ward temple day.

 

A couple months ago I read on a blog about a man who referred to his child he had lost as his "anchor in heaven" and how it was a blessing to him to have that - that the sweetness was now greater than the pain of it.  I haven't been able to get that phrase - "anchor in heaven" - out of my head ever since.  As I sat in the temple that day, I felt like I truly understood what he was talking about.  A year ago I couldn't see the blessings very clearly, I could only see the trial.  2 years ago I could only feel the pain.  Now I am starting to feel the sweetness.  What a blessing to always have someone to remind us why we are here and what we are working towards.  What a blessing to have an anchor in heaven.

 

Our girls had been awesome while we were in the temple.  We left and ate at 5 Guys (um, yummy!), then began our drive back.  We arrived just in time to make it to my friend, Ali's, baptism.  Ali has such a sweet spirit and strong testimony, it feels like she's been a member forever.  Her whole baptism was another sweet reminder of what is truly important.  And its never a bad thing to spend time with our wonderful ward family.  Just what I needed on our Kathryn day.

 

We came home to loving Facebook messages and emails and texts.  Thank you friends.  Bonka and Grandma Anderson are always so good to take care of Kathryn's little resting place for us.

 

And finally, that evening I had to write a talk on motherhood (yah, speaking on Mother's Day...not my favorite thing), which yet again gave focus to what the point of it all is for me.  I had been so content and happy all day, that it surprised me when I got emotional during family prayer that night.  I was just so grateful for my little family.  I hope all of Kathryn's birthdays can feel like this one did.

 

So there you go.  No fanfare or crazy traditions (although I do paint my toenails green every May - it's Kathryn's color), just amazing, lovely, happy family time.  I wouldn't have had it any other way.